Are You Mentally Fit?

“Begin the end in mind.”-Stephen Covey

If we want success, we should succeed first in our mind. If we want to partner with that client, we should first imagine unceasingly a closed partnership with that client. If we want to go to our dream place, we should fill our minds with the picture of that place. If we want to land that job, we should first sign the job offer in our mind.

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But it is impossible to do these things, if in the first place, our mind is not conditioned and fit enough to carry and own these thoughts. I am currently reading a book by Brian Tracy entitled,“Advanced Selling Strategies.” The first few chapters of the book are dedicated to equip the mind for success before the actual closed sale. But I believe that Brian Tracy’s wisdom is applicable not only to business people, but also in every profession in every walk of life. Let me share to you the following questions that I asked myself as I read and contemplate the message of the book.

MENTAL FITNESS QUESTIONNAIRE

  1. What are the words you say and believe to yourself?
  2. How do you visualize yourself?
  3. What are you feeding your mind? Are you careful enough in choosing in what you will read, watch or listen to?
  4. Do you associate with the very best people you know?
  5. Do you aim for continuous learning? What are you doing to improve yourself?
  6. What are your health habits?
  7. Do you have a sense of urgency on your tasks or project? In scale of 1-10, what is the level of your enthusiasm towards your work?

Take time to answer these questions. If you feel that you are not mentally fit, now is the best time to train yourself every single day and start to see the end in your mind.

Just love,

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Can You Live Without Facebook?

I couldn’t…

But I was wrong.

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It’s been two weeks since I don’t have access to my Facebook, literally none at all. I deleted this app on my phone and iPad two weeks ago. Honestly, I am a self-confessed social media addict. I am guilty of scanning the news feed the first time I opened my eyes in the morning before having my personal quiet time with God. I have countless times of holding my phone or tab for so long without minding the loads of work in front of me. There are moments that real conversation with friends and love ones were taken for granted because of this unhealthy habit. There are times that I also found myself with impure motives when I posted a scrumptious lunch in an expensive restaurant or the places that I traveled and feel insecure whenever I see hashtag goals (#goals) post in my Instagram feed. There are instances that I anchored my identity on the number of likes that I get.

But I remember that night when God flipped a switch that completely changed the way I see how social media is not helping me at all, personally. Me and Dave attended a retreat for couple. It is called Discovery Weekend- a weekend of discovering yourself, your better half and God as a preparation to a lifetime vocation of marriage. It was held in a retreat house in the heart of the Metro but it was indeed a timeless weekend. We were not allowed to use our phones and even to wear our watches. And that time gave me no other choice but to really know myself more. I had to search my mind, heart, and soul and find things that should and shouldn’t be there. As I dig deeper, I realized that most of my insecurities and worries are cultivated how this world is dictated by media. I realized that it is scary when every time I ask ‘what kind of woman I want to be or God wants me to be‘ or ‘is it the right thing to do or not‘, that there are a lot of unfiltered options that I can see in the social platforms that I am actively involved, specifically Facebook and Instagram.

But don’t get me wrong. Social applications help me to reconnect with my old friends and to share to the world my passion and advocacy. I know that we can still find thousands of inspiring posts and camaraderie in the social media. And I’m not pointing fingers to anyone or putting the blame to these applications. It’s just my way of guarding myself and taking charge of my future self as a fulfilled woman, a future wife and a future mother. It’s a personal decision. As I soon will be shifting season, I know that this is one of the few things that need to be left behind. I know myself better than anyone else and I came to a point that I know that the costs of being ‘online socially active’ outweigh the benefits that I get from it.

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Yeah! It’s been a while without using my personal Facebook and Instagram account. It is a fantastic and productive time. I am able to finish the project that I wanted to start few months ago. I am able to focus on the things that really matter. Every morning, I wake up with a high spirit and positive vibes. In that span of time, I have seen how my relationships improved.

Maybe it is just a short time to prove how living without the social media is possible and beneficial. But I know at the end, this little sacrifice will be worth it.

PS: Though I am not active on Facebook and Instagram and other social media accounts like Twitter and Pinterest, I’m still maintaining my FB messenger account for personal messages from friends.  You can also checked my professional site at LinkedIn and you can still reach me through this blog

Just love,

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When I Cry With a Stranger

“I don’t know where to go. I don’t know what to do.”, she said.

My feet were burning after an hour of strolling around a nearby mall. I noticed a small sofa beside where the guard stood. I sat down, removed my shoes, and rest my back against the wall.

As I gaze at the sea of faces passing by, I saw an old woman trying to find a seat. She walked one step at a time. She looked tired. I smiled at her, hoping that my smile could ease her weariness, and without thinking, she returned her precious smile.

“My feet ache. I just need to sit down for a while.” she said.

I stared at her while she shared stories about politics and stuffs. She looked like a rich woman in her 60’s. Her wrinkles, white hair, and freckles give grace to her senior years.

“If you don’t mind Nanay, how young are you?” I asked.

“I’m 80 years old.” she said.

“Oh my.  Seriously? You look like only 60 plus. Wala pong halong bola.”, I exclaimed.

“You’re the hundredth person I think who told that.”, she said.

Then laughter.

Then she cried.

She had 11 children. His husband passed away in 1993. Four of her children died few years ago. And just last month, his only son, at the age of 45, died due to hear attack. She was not beside his son during his last breath. She was in US.  The recent memory she shad with her son was few days before he died. Her son was smiling in a video chat, waving goodbye to her.

“I don’t know where to go. I don’t know what to do. What will I do now?”, she said. “I saw my love ones died one by one. I don’t think I can still manage to live for another 20 years. I miss my husband. I miss my children. But I’ll always thank God for this life. It is a beautiful life.”

Then my tears started to fall. I felt her pain.

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I can’t imagine that an 80-year old woman would ask the same questions that every young people asked.  “I don’t know where to go. I don’t know what to do. What will I do now?” She has seen all the agony and beauty of life for the past eight decades and life brought her back again to this one question, “What will I do now?”

But I can see a strong woman behind the pain.

When I asked her what sustains her for the last month, for the last decades? She answered, “God.”

I saw again her smile.

I didn’t know if there will be a chance that we would see each other again. It might be the strangest thing to cry with a stranger but she taught me one lesson that I won’t ever forget, “God’s love will endure our pains.”

Just love,

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My Fear and My Cubicle

What will you do if you weren’t afraid?

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This is one of the thousand questions I asked myself as I came to a point in my life when I needed to face this decision: Should I resign or not?

Maybe that season is what they called a ‘legit’ part of #Adulting. That feeling that you want your life to go beyond paying the bills. That feeling that you know that your life is something more than the four corners of your cubicle. And that feeling that you know you have a greater purpose than ranting about your employer and traffic. And I guess these are valid feelings, somehow.

What will I do if I am not afraid?

At first, I found it hard to answer this question. The question itself started to build a fear in my heart. I was afraid to know the answers. What if I am not ready to conquer the fears within me? What if the answers will lead me to a scarier ground? What if staying in status quo is ideal than searching for that ‘great unknown”? What if?

But what if I do the things that I love? What if I step out and just try? What if I do the thing that scares me the most? What if?

Again, what will I do if I am not afraid?

It’s been four months now since I left the corporate world. It’s been four months since I had the courage to answer that question. Yeah. It’s been four months and I can finally say that where I am right now is worth all the ‘what ifs’. It will be a very long way to go and it won’t be easy but somehow, I’m an inch farther away from my comfort zone.

But for those four months (and until now), it’s a little weird but I find myself asking the same question every single day. I thought that the answer to that question is a one time-big time event. But I am wrong. Every time I wake up, I ask “What will I do today if I am not afraid?”

Choosing to do the things we love and what God has called us to do is an everyday decision. It involves a daily battle of facing our fears-rejections, failures, criticisms, and confrontations with your future and yourself. Being in the courage zone doesn’t mean that you are fearless. You and I need to acknowledge our fears, but not deny it nor be beaten by it.

But the good thing about our fears is the fact that it is not our battle alone. We have God who will fight for us and who will give us the grace to withstand our worries. As he said in His word, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

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What will we do if we weren’t afraid? What will we do if we know that God is on our side?

Just love,

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A Night in the Life of a Night-Shifter

For the past two months, our team had a financial consultation to the employees of various BPO companies. And this called us to work on a night shift. At first, I don’t know if I could do it. I’m more of a morning person. Before, every time I receive job offering night shift, without a second thought, I declined it. I know my body. I know I couldn’t withstand working in the middle of the night until a call of duty as a financial planner required us to do so.

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In those few nights, I talked to call center agents, IT and other back office employees. I got a chance to know the stories behind those sleepless nights. And the following are some of the most common stories that I noted during our conversations:

  1. Their family is their motivation. Some are single. Some have their own families. Most of them are breadwinners. They give almost half of their income to their family. They don’t mind if they’ll have no room for luxuries. What important to them is that they can put good food on their tables and send their siblings or children to school.
  2. They choose to love what they do. Some of them are tenured employees. Some of them are already 10 years or more in the industry.
  3. This is the kind of job who accepts them for who they are. Some of them were not able to finish college. Some of them are fresh graduates who don’t have any work experience. Some of them are already in their 50’s or 60’s who were given a chance to work despite their age.

We have different stories.

We have different motivations.

But we have this ‘same thing’ inside our hearts that keep us awake in our own endeavors. LOVE.

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Just love,

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